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The Bards

2013 Walnut St, Philadelphia, PA 19103
This week we return to Rittenhouse to review the restroom at The Bards, a traditional Irish pub that is a great place to watch a game and an excellent place to go when the line at the Irish Pub next door gets too long.

Accessibility 2/2

We're working with three possible options here, 2 urinals, 1 stall. It's nothing special, but you shouldn't ever find yourself waiting more than a minute in line.

Privacy 2/2
The urinals are the furthest thing from private, with the sink/the door being inches away from either urinal. There is a stall though and you do have the option of locking the main bathroom door. As we know though, that's frowned upon if there are multiple toilets in a restroom. Also, and this is important, please be aware that there is no lock on the stall door. As soon as that gets fixed we'll bump privacy up to a 1, but for now...

Cleanliness 2/2
Slowly noticing that this is the most boring of the categories in the Restroom Review, but still very necessary in grading a bathroom. What do you want me to say? It was clean.

Ambience 2/2
The walls are wood paneled half-way up and the bathroom stall is all wood, which gives sort of a rustic feel. Also above the wood paneling is a place to rest your drink while you pee.

Intangibles 1/2
The best thing this bathroom has going for it is the enormous picture hanging above the urinals that is filled with history of famous Irish people, such as Arthur Guinness and Bram Stoker. It isn't just a sentence either, it's a full-on paragraph about each person. I learned so freaking much about Irish history as I peed! Also big ups for having paper towels and not a hand-dryer.

TOTAL SCORE: 6
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This is the bathroom that Moriarty's should strive to have, and easily could if they tried a little harder. Somebody might open the door into your shoulder as you do your business, but you won't care, you'll be learning about Irish history, which should help replace some of the brain cells you kill as you drink.
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