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PATCO Ponderings: Issue 12

9/4/2013

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Picture
"The Couple"

Today's feature happens to be related to yesterday's, as I have to assume The Couple is actually The 50 Year Old BFFs offspring that just so happened to get together. Much like their parents, The BFFs, The Couple is completely inseparable on this train. Your tempted to pull a page out of the nun who taught you in eighth grades book and yell that they "need to leave room for Jesus between them."

Yes, The Couple is so hell bent on sitting next to each other that they will go as far as to ask you to move seats to accommodate them. You see, The Couple gets their strength from each other. By making then sit separately, they lose all power, much like Samson lost his power without his hair.
These mass transit riders will be mauling each other the entire time they're on the train. This will leave you wondering, at least if you're a germaphobe like me, how they could possibly find this atmosphere appealing or sanitary.

The Couple wouldn't be as bad, but they repeatedly talk in weird voices, using pet names for each other. Be forewarned, if you catch the couple who has hit a rough patch, stand your distance. Be aware of flying objects and loud noises, as this could get ugly.

To The Couple, we're so glad you've found each other. So happy in fact, that we wish for you to spend the rest of your lives in eternal bliss with each other. Oh, but one thing, you will see each other again, so you can tone it down for the twenty minute train ride.
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