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PATCO Ponderings: Issue 18

9/17/2013

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Picture
"The Pop Star/Rapper"

Today we analyze one of my least favorite mass transit passengers, The Pop Star/Rapper. A distant cousin to The Resident DJ, this passenger is ten times more annoying. Unlike their long lost relative, you won't just hear this passengers music, they'll serenade you with their own personal butchering of whatever song they so choose.


When this person walks on the train, you wish you could only hear their headphones at a deafening volume. No, you're not that lucky, as you'll be stuck listening to this passengers own personal rendition of whatever the latest hit is. Pitchy and loud, this person is likely to be the least talented singer on earth, which says something because its really hard to beat me for that title. The annoyance will only be magnified if this passenger chooses a fast-paced song, as they will struggle and stumble over their words in an attempt to keep up. But don't pray for a slow song either, because no one wants them hitting the high notes on some love song.

Most times this passenger will only know about every third word to the song they're singing, which would be comical to listen to, but they're just so bad that it hurts. You have to wonder if they even realize they're singing out loud. They must, right? The minutes feel like days and the songs all seem to be the length of "Free Bird" as you sit through the agony of this passengers singing. Seriously, can't someone tell them to stop already?

So to all you Pop Star/Rappers out there, please keep the singing in your head. Yes I'm sure your mom says you have the voice of an angel, but I assure you, she was just being nice. You actually sound like nails on a chalkboard.
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