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PATCO Ponderings: Issue 20

9/19/2013

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Picture
"The Shifter"

Today's topic focuses on one of the more curious passengers on the mass transit system, The Shifter. The Shifter will be recognizable by the fact that they can't sit or stand in the same spot for more than one stop during the ride.


You wonder to yourself, what the hell is this person doing moving their seat so many times? The first move you chalk up to the possibility they were stuck next to somebody with BO. But then, to your dismay, they continue to move seats. Everyone on the train couldn't possibly have BO right? Well, at least not bad enough that you would smell it over the odor of the train itself. No, this person is changing seats because they've convinced themselves that the grass is greener on the other side or seat. (Wait, that may not be grass, I would be careful about sitting on it). For some reason, The Shifter seems to think they've spotted more prosperous real estate and will continue to change seats or standing locations in the process.

Odds are they're moving so they can have a seat to themselves. When that is the case, you think to yourself how funny it's going to be when someone gets on at the next stop and plops down next to them. Seriously, can you not sit in the same spot for twenty minutes? Even worse is The Shifter who moves with one stop to go. Is it that unbearable to be in close quarters with a fellow human being? At that point in the ride it just doesn't seem worth the effort of getting up, at least not to me.

So to all The Shifters out there, sit the hell still. Unless there are extreme circumstances and you have a good reason, you can share a seat for twenty minutes. Otherwise public transportation may not be for you.
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