Moriarty's
1116 Walnut St. Philadelphia, PA 19107
Next door to the Forrest Theater & a block from Thomas Jefferson University is a staple of Walnut Street, Moriarty's Irish Pub. Named after the free-spirit character from Jack Kerouac's On the Road, Dean Moriarty, (that's not true, I made it up) the pub has been a no-frills place to have a pint for over 30 years. Moriarty's is highly touted for their wings, but as you're about to find out, not their bathrooms.
Accessibility 1/2
Moriarty's is a 3-story establishment, so I should mention early here that the bathroom in question is on the second floor. I have vague memories of the third floor bathroom being nicer, but that was from years ago, the last time I was up there for a private event. I didn't stay on the first floor for more than 15 seconds, so I'm not sure if there's a bathroom hiding down there or if the second floor bathroom is the only option. We'll go back there for a follow-up this week to confirm, but for now let's just make Accessibility a 1 out of 2. There is one urinal and one toilet in the bathroom, so there's a high probability you'll find yourself waiting in line during peak hours.
Privacy 1/2
This is the first establishment we've done on the Restroom Review without private, locking-door set-ups. The urinal is in the corner on the door side of the room, blocked off by the stall to the left, but the sink is immediately behind you. Essentially everything is just kind of crammed into the space they had to work with. The whole two-toilet bathroom is smaller than one private bathroom at Cooperage, so if Moriarty's wanted to go that route they could gain some privacy points by sacrificing accessibility points. We feel that it's better to have a wealth of toilets though, especially at an Irish pub, where the goal is usually to drink a lot without slowing down. Note: you can lock the door, but that's frowned upon in a restroom with multiple toilets.
Cleanliness 1/2
Not a clean bathroom by any standards, but the bottle of Febreze on top of the toilet is a much appreciated touch. It's the little things that matter.
Ambience 0/2
Ever gone to the bathroom in an Arby's? That's pretty much akin to what the ambience is like in this bathroom. Cookie-cutter, beige-tile wall; it could really be dropped into any establishment. C'mon Moriarty's, you can't even put up a clover, or a picture of the Cliffs of Moher, or the Moriarty family crest on the wall? It's a pretty cool crest, look it up! It's got an eagle on it. Another facet that lost Moriarty's ambience points is the large chunk of ceramic that's missing from the top of the toilet tank. We'd like to see that fixed, otherwise you're just begging for drunken a-holes to upper deck it.
Intangibles 1/2
Moriarty's doesn't have much to offer in the way of intangibles, due to it's bare bones nature, but they do have an automatic towel dispensing machine, which, as you know by now, is a major key to restroom success.
TOTAL SCORE: 4
Lot's of room for Moriarty's to improve, but the building blocks are there. Also, while we're talking about Irish pubs, I just want to make sure you're aware that St. Patrick's Day is the same day as the first day of March Madness this year. Put that PTO time in, people!
Accessibility 1/2
Moriarty's is a 3-story establishment, so I should mention early here that the bathroom in question is on the second floor. I have vague memories of the third floor bathroom being nicer, but that was from years ago, the last time I was up there for a private event. I didn't stay on the first floor for more than 15 seconds, so I'm not sure if there's a bathroom hiding down there or if the second floor bathroom is the only option. We'll go back there for a follow-up this week to confirm, but for now let's just make Accessibility a 1 out of 2. There is one urinal and one toilet in the bathroom, so there's a high probability you'll find yourself waiting in line during peak hours.
Privacy 1/2
This is the first establishment we've done on the Restroom Review without private, locking-door set-ups. The urinal is in the corner on the door side of the room, blocked off by the stall to the left, but the sink is immediately behind you. Essentially everything is just kind of crammed into the space they had to work with. The whole two-toilet bathroom is smaller than one private bathroom at Cooperage, so if Moriarty's wanted to go that route they could gain some privacy points by sacrificing accessibility points. We feel that it's better to have a wealth of toilets though, especially at an Irish pub, where the goal is usually to drink a lot without slowing down. Note: you can lock the door, but that's frowned upon in a restroom with multiple toilets.
Cleanliness 1/2
Not a clean bathroom by any standards, but the bottle of Febreze on top of the toilet is a much appreciated touch. It's the little things that matter.
Ambience 0/2
Ever gone to the bathroom in an Arby's? That's pretty much akin to what the ambience is like in this bathroom. Cookie-cutter, beige-tile wall; it could really be dropped into any establishment. C'mon Moriarty's, you can't even put up a clover, or a picture of the Cliffs of Moher, or the Moriarty family crest on the wall? It's a pretty cool crest, look it up! It's got an eagle on it. Another facet that lost Moriarty's ambience points is the large chunk of ceramic that's missing from the top of the toilet tank. We'd like to see that fixed, otherwise you're just begging for drunken a-holes to upper deck it.
Intangibles 1/2
Moriarty's doesn't have much to offer in the way of intangibles, due to it's bare bones nature, but they do have an automatic towel dispensing machine, which, as you know by now, is a major key to restroom success.
TOTAL SCORE: 4
Lot's of room for Moriarty's to improve, but the building blocks are there. Also, while we're talking about Irish pubs, I just want to make sure you're aware that St. Patrick's Day is the same day as the first day of March Madness this year. Put that PTO time in, people!